I must begin by stressing that the following story occurred before I had any formal mediation training and is not something I would do now.  A few years ago a couple of the women in my extended family were engaged in conflict that was spilling over to other members of the family.  It is tradition in our family to all gather at one house for desserts, conversation, and drinks after everyone has had their dinners at their respective locations.  These two women thus ended up in the same location for the post-feast family fest. 

Already I wanted to say something to help smooth over the situation.  After personally witnessing some awkwardness I got a little more proactive.  I spoke with each woman separately about the dispute and about how as the women who had married into the family, we should stick together.  Everything wasn't roses and hugs after my attempts, but we did all end up going shopping at a midnight sale together later that night.  I would like to think I at least helped. 

Now that I am more educated regarding mediation I would never attempt to mediate for family members.  Mediating for family members is difficult if not impossible, because the mediator will likely have pre-existing biases.  I just could not have been truly neutral, and I had a stake in an outcome of family harmony.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day for food, football, family, and giving thanks.  Unfortunately, the holidays are a lot less fun when family members are feuding.  If you do have a conflict with another family member, take a step back, remind yourself that other family members are being impacted, and see if the holiday spirit inspires you to extend an olive branch.   With Hanukkah starting today and Christmas less than a month away it makes sense to start the holiday season with a little peacemaking.  And once peace is made, perhaps you can even raise a glass and toast the repaired relationship.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND HAPPY HANUKKAH FROM CONVERGENCE MEDIATION!!!  Wishing you all a peaceful and joyous holiday….